the torch of my life

It's been almost two years and I still carry a torch for HIM. Yup. HE who is million miles away from where I am - the other side of the world. I didn't even tell HIM how I felt. Why should I? We've yet to meet each other in person. HE's no longer someone I used to know now. HE's a popular good looking guy(always mistaken for a guy from a rock band) with girls throwing themselves at HIM. Like a typical scene kid. I miss the times when it was just us complaining abt the world and how we're alike at some ways and different at the rest. The dreams and wishes that we made and shared.

Where did it all went?
Out of the window.
How? Why?

It's a long story to the question of why. But to the answer of how, HE cut HIMSELF from the internet world. With that, HE decided to include me too. I got hurt.

HE's back now but it's different. HE apologized for the hurt. I was fine with it but still upset. Feelings don't change. They're still the same. Sadly there isn't any hopes for us but just pen pals who write, e-mail, call and IM each other.

Will I ever tell HIM? I'm not sure. Maybe when I get the chance to meet HIM in person and ready to let go of HIM.

But for now, I'll continue to harbor those feelings and go through all the roller-coaster emotional ride quietly.

I'm just a fool in love - secretly.

Help me for I gotta get a grip.

Lazy Saturday

So it's 30th Dec. 2007 ushering in 2 days time.

Am I ready?
Good question.

Nope. I don't think so.
Or maybe I am.
Depends in which way you're looking at.

Everything seems to be the same and I am definitely in no rush to change anything. It's not the matter whether I'm afraid or not. I am not. It's just that I decided to take a laid back track. Why the rush, people? I don't get it. I guess it's just me.

I've been asked what is my new year resolutions. My answer is plain simple - don't bother to have resolutions. Why make plans when you know you're gonna end up breaking them? Right?

So I spent the whole thinking about who are my friends? The people I know who got my back while I got theirs? Wow... My list got shorter. And that people, I say it's a good thing. At least I know I can trust them unless someone decided to betray it. But sadly some of them are not in town at the moment. They're away for work while I'm stuck here.

Whatever shall I do now?